ETIQUETTE QUEEN LAURA WINDSOR SAYS DUCHESS' FESTIVE SPECIAL WAS FILLED WITH TERRIBLE TIPS
If you find yourself watching Netflix's Christmas edition of With Love, Meghan: Holiday Celebration, please don't let it be a lesson in how to treat your guests this festive season.
With the show's glowing visuals, you might think the Duchess of Sussex, 44, provides meaningful hosting tips on how to have the perfect Christmas, but her shoddy pointers diminish the episode's seemingly 'elevated' approach.
Dubbed the Queen of Etiquette, I've been expert on all things decorum and elegance for years, and even advised Netflix on Regency-era social graces for Bridgerton - and I can say with certainty that Prince Harry's wife fails to be the 'hostess with the mostess' and instead comes across slightly cringeworthy.
Meghan's primary etiquette blunders lay in her informal, overly casual language, using terms such as 'Hi friend', and remarking over her cooking by saying phrases like 'Watch those beauties puff right up', 'Easy on the gin, folks', or referring to viewers as 'gang'.
Her colloquialisms emphasise her shift away from elegance and serve as a stark contrast to the glamorous aesthetic that the show is so desperately trying to project.
Matters take a turn for the worse when she starts discussing her husband, Prince Harry, and the unpleasant ways in which his body reacts to spicy foods, details disclosed not only to her guests but also to the whole world.
Her comments about Harry - 'I'll give you a little towel because you are going to sweat ' - introduce a bodily-function element that feels at odds with the refined image the programme aims to create.
Do we really need to know that Harry enjoys dining on gumbo and sweats when he eats it? I rather think not! Not only is it ill-mannered, but it's definitely not in keeping with the show's luxury aesthetic.
Given that her husband struggles with spice, it came as an additional surprise - and blunder - that Meghan assumed guests' tastes in the show.
Good hosting means one never presumes that anyone takes a liking to spicy food; you either ask beforehand or serve the spicy oil on the side.
In one scene, Meghan served chilli oil in the middle of a tahini dip under the guise of uncertainty about whether her guests enjoyed hot foods. It seemed clear that she used the dish as an opportunity to mention her husband and comment on his dislike of spice.
Meghan's inappropriate actions in relation to Harry didn't stop there. The Sussexes shared an overly intimate gesture among guests, and the rest of the world was watching on.
She greeted Harry with an unnecessarily intimate kiss on the lips, which felt out of place in front of others. A simple kiss on the cheek would have been more suitable for the setting.
In addition to neglecting her guests' preferences, she engaged them in painful, impolite conversations that centered on herself.
Throughout the show, Meghan repeatedly shifted the focus away from her guests to bring it back to her, her family, or to weigh in and give her opinion. Rather than being guest-centred, it was Meghan-centred.
All conversations appeared to be a vehicle for Meghan to talk about herself, leaving viewers with barely any insight into anyone else featured in the show.
It goes without saying that good host etiquette involves allowing guests to speak about themselves, and not turning the conversation back on yourself all the time.
Perhaps the most interesting chat between Meghan and a guest was with Tom Colicchio towards the end of the programme, when she allowed the American chef room to talk.
Colicchio stole the show and made it more interesting. That's what you are supposed to do as a host.
Despite doing something along the right lines, Meghan looked uncomfortable and perhaps a little annoyed at Colicchio taking the spotlight, and she kept interrupting and adding inconsequential comments such as 'yum' just to be heard.
And when Colicchio discussed a family recipe, Meghan chuckled, giving the impression that she wasn't actively listening and was only waiting for the moment to add her own commentary - specifically about Harry disliking the ingredients.
The remark came across as inconsiderate, particularly given that he was sharing a personal family recipe.
Another misstep? She served wine in water glasses and used a napkin as a coaster when chatting to American restaurateur, Will Guidara, who is the author of a New York Times bestseller on lessons in service.
The choices are thoughtless and break the idea of elevated hosting. Not to mention when she later served a cocktail - the French 75 - from a champagne glass.
Elsewhere, Meghan appeared to make her college friend Lindsay Roth uncomfortable by commenting on her appearance, saying, 'Your hair is going blonder'.
Remarking on someone's physical appearance is rarely appropriate and can make guests feel awkward and embarrassed.
Lindsay made a noticeable pause before responding, suggesting confusion, self-consciousness or a little discomfort. It would have been more gracious to say something neutral and flattering, such as: 'You look well - what's your secret?'
Elegance suggests more refined conversation, more poise and genuine warmth, and natural interactions.
When in the kitchen, Meghan committed further faux pas after she stuck an empty fork in her mouth to lick off the flavour, stuffed her face with food, as opposed to taking small bites, and ate while talking - an act even young children would avoid.
Uncomfortable guest interactions and impolite gestures aside, Meghan's practical hosting tips were similarly poor.
For instance, despite making a fuss about the dish, there is nothing elegant or refined about crudités wreaths, and the plate looked fairly dull and unimaginative.
And her idea of filling crackers with confetti should also be avoided because it goes against the golden rule of 'less is more' at the dinner table.
A setting needs only a few statement pieces - an elegant centrepiece, candles, and perhaps one or two Christmas accents.
It should be free of clutter, neat and well-organised, allowing guests to see all the cutlery and enjoy the meal without complication. Confetti-filled crackers would just create an unnecessary mess.
I wouldn't recommend using sprigs of rosemary to decorate presents either; it may look good on television, but by the time Christmas Day comes, it will have dried out, leaving a mess under your Christmas tree.
Plus, if you are going to wrap gifts in the traditional Japanese fashion, at least get the name right, Furoshiki - not Furoshki, as Meghan pronounced it.
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